Emotion Regulation

Dear Reader

Since most of my posts make reference to emotion, I nominate this one as the foundation on which we build our lives.

Emotional Regulation is not an ability we are born with, it is a skill that we develop and unfortunately most of us are not taught how to regulate our emotions.

Every Human being is capable of regulating their emotions, it is as simple as learning to ride a bike or drive or write. It is a process that once learnt becomes subconscious and works with silent automation.

So what exactly is Emotional Regulation?

It is the process of identifying, accepting, understanding and transforming an emotion. For eg, a person who has been triggered who is capable of Observing the emotion without becoming them, is a person who can self-regulate their emotions.

When we become the observer, we allow ourselves the opportunity to direct our energy in the way of our desires.

However, we can not jump the spectrum, which explains the situations where a negative emotion(feeling or thought) can't be shaken. We must identify ourselves with the emotional vibration spectrum so as to become aware of the steps and stages we need to move through to reach our desired state of being.

For eg. If you feel shame, it shows you the desire of acceptance, pride, self-love and confidence etc. However since we can't jump the spectrum, the next emotion you would need to move to is Guilt, and then Apathy and so on.

This is the standard regulation process of emotions. Each emotion that appears on this scale has synonyms and may be replaced with those synonyms to better represent your emotion. Every human being unconsciously goes through these stages. Awareness and understanding simply allows us to assist the process by intentionally being in a state of non-resistance to its natural process. Inner-resistance - effort in the opposite direction to this natural process is what causes us to feel stuck. Another block could be Fears of the emotions that follow after the current one. Some emotions may be linked to deep childhood traumas and the person may have subconsciously developed a fear of feeling a certain way. This fear must be unblocked to be able to allow the energies to easily flow through you. There is no need to be afraid of any emotion. Become comfortable with being uncomfortable, observe and get to know your own Shadows.

Sometimes when you can't make someone you love feel better all you can do is sit with them through the pain. In the same way, do this for yourself. Be Present. It will pass much faster as long as you don't fight it. And you will fight it until you can surrender and face it, so be patient with yourself.

Every emotion, from the lowest vibration to the highest vibration is valid. And so if it is intense, let it be. Have you ever felt invalidated, for justified feelings being misunderstood? If so, then understand that when you deny or suppress your emotions presence - this is exactly what you are doing to yourself.

Atleast, by becoming identified with this spectrum, you will know the next step and find it faster. Integrate it faster and move on and Reach your desires FASTER.

Integration is the process of bringing the fragmented pieces of oneself back to One. These fragmented pieces are everything inside you that you feel is separate from you. This is everything you push away, avoid, suppress, feel strong emotional connections to, but deny. These are parts of you that you have misunderstood as something to deter you from making correct decisions that align with your desires, misunderstood as something meant to harm you, and thus you have perceived it as separate from you and treat it as an enemy. But now you will start understanding them. And you will see their purpose.

Identifying the emotion your feel and accepting it, go hand in hand and often happen simultaneously (not instantaneously). Understanding the emotion speeds up the the transformation part exponentially. A technique to aid in understanding emotion is to do something which puts you in a meditative state. This can be meditation, yoga, a hobby, a talent, a skill.

Your awareness, acceptance and presence that you have given to your emotion was the key to opening the door, when you quiet your mind, answers will flow to you, as long as you are willing to listen.

In summary, the process of emotional regulation is as follows:

1. Identify what you are feeling. Name it.

2. Acknowledge it, Accept it. Be present with it. Understand it.

3. Identify the next step you need to move to..

4. Feel when you're ready to move to it. Move.

5. Repeat until you reach your desired state.

Energy is constantly moving so even when we reach our desired state its not as if it is constant and one emotion can be present alone and without the others. So in essence all these emotions and vibrations are present at the same time, all the time, at different "strengths", some more percievable then others and dictated by what we are focusing on. This is also how we can easily transition in and out of states. You can always choose your present state and by becoming better at this process, choosing your present state will become easier to do. That is the ultimate reward of being able to regulate your emotions. You will no longer be controlled by any illusory external event because you will be the one choosing your state of being independent from perceived external existence. Your every moment will depend on your most authentic truth. And you will never say "I didn't mean that", "I wish I didn't have to do this", " I would rather be doing.."

You Absolutely Deserve to live the life you desire. You have the power to create it. And if this information comes to you, then you have no excuse, you will not go wrong if you follow the steps.

Good Luck!